A lament to lost children:
A gave you all I could
Loved you, clothed you
Fed you, changed you
Wiped the tears from your eyes
Consoling your cries.
I gave you all I could
Taught you, encouraged you
Sometimes chastised you
Watched you play
Pushed you on the swings and slide
Played football and watched you learn to swim
Bought you gifts and took you places to visit
Ice creams
On holidays near and far
Held your hand as we walked through the fields
lollipops
I gave you all I could
Read you stories at bedtime
Lay with you watching Trumpton and Camberwick Green
Rosie and Jim, Tots TV with Tom Tily and Tiny
In the Night Garden
Cuddling and caring for you
And then a day came. I needed to walk my own path
And you wouldn't or couldn't walk with me
So abandoned, I walked alone
Never forgetting you
Wanting to be with you,to continue to teach and care for you
Your mum and I separated and she fuelled your fear
Kept you locked up in May 2013
You blocked me on Twitter and Facebook,
Ignored my emails, visits and phone calls
Said no to all attempts at contact
All I have now is the shitty end
The bills, and financial burden of raising children
And I do
But with none of the benefits.
No cuddles or hugs,
No pictures, No calls, No visits,
No happy birthday or happy Christmas
I walk alone.
No talking to teachers, taking you to football
No park or swings as was my sole responsibility
The letters I wrote went unread, censored by your mum
Trying to help you move forward with who I am
All attempts thwarted. And so you remain locked in the past
Unable to move but a single day forward
To deal with reality. Stuck. Lost children.
Perhaps one day you will learn the truth,
That my love for you has never wavered
Even now, it is as strong as the day you were born
But too late for the parks and the holding of hands
Too late for the swings and the slides
Too late for holidays and cuddles
The ice creams and lollipops
Who centres your mind and body now?
Who lays with you on your bed when you need a hug?
Who will thaw the ice in your heart
Who will show you a world of love and respect?
Lament
Lament little lost children
